SUNDAY JULY 6, 2008

WEEK TWO

SUNDAY’S REFLECTIONS
It's now Sunday afternoon and I am catching up w/the blog. It's amazing how important these posts have become to us bikers. A number of people are keeping in touch w/their families and congregations and communities back home and given the level of support that has been given - it is very important that we keep in touch with you all and let you know how things are going.

The family I stayed with last night were great. Henry & Sandra Lee and their children Nick, Jasmine and Brandon were so gracious and FUN. Henry is from China and came to the US w/his family in "65 when he was about 20 months old. When I met him he pointed out that in all liklihood he wouldn't be hard to find as he was the only Asian in a large group of Dutch descendents. However, the community is becoming much more ethnically diverse. There are a number of Mexican immigrants and people from Asia and also from Mynmar. There are a number of them from the Corine Tribe in Mynmar. They are a growing group with a number of them joinig the local CRC congregation. Today our worship service was held in the Columbia Trail Park - along the Columbia River in Kennewick. This is where camp was set up last night and we will be staying tonight againg although I am going back to the Lee family. Henry & Sandra met at WSU and have been married for about 27 years. After worship this morning which included praise songs, a mini-dramatic presentation about the tour and why some of us are riding and two song presentations by some of the Corine people we had lunch an d are now just passing away the afternoon.
I am doing this - and others are napping. Some are hiking (believe it or not), swimming, and just hanging out. Tomorrow morning Henry will bring me back here and we will be on the road to our next point.


In addition to the spiritual angst of yesterday – I am also coming to terms with the fact that even though I have this trip to focus on, the events of the last year have not disappeared and what I am coming to terms with is how vulnerable I have felt. For those who know me – you’ve heard this before, but there are 3 characteristics which I value highly and those are integrity, authenticity and vulnerability. I realize now that while my dad always said I didn’t have anything to prove to anyone – a major challenge of this trip is proving I can do it. My level of need is great since I am not as strong as others. (I know this isn’t a bad thing or anything I am ashamed of – but it does mean I’m at a different level of ability). Because of the differences in our abilities – I have to rely on others and let them help me. Now, I don’t mind being supported or encouraged but as I said last night to a group of really cool bikers – I want to feel like I am offering something as well. The situation of this last year underscored how vulnerable we all are. The other thing I am dealing with is the attack on my integrity. I don’t HAVE TO prove I am a person of integrity but after the decisions concerning my charges against the colleague who did wrong – I can’t help but feel like something was taken away from me. I want it back. To those of you who know me – I know you will probably say I didn’t lose it. You may be correct. But the feeling is there nonetheless.Just before the ride – I read in a magazine that Chelsea Clinton – in an echo of her mother’s feelings perhaps stated in an interview that “emotions aren’t logical”. I suppose at one level that is true. And to a degree I don’t think they are supposed to be. But the two need not be put at odds with one another. Emotions can be messy, can be overwhelming, can be draining. But at the same time, they are the expressions of our situations. And if in fact we were created to experience emotions – why do we try so hard to avoid them? If you love someone and they hurt, how does it help to pretend the hurt doesn’t exist? If you love someone and they leave or die – why is it wrong to express that through tears? I know that people are afraid to experience emotions because it can feel like we are out of control but I find that if we express our emotions at the times we need to – then they don’t build up and become the volcano that makes us feel like we have lost our foundation..And I express emotion. Duh! So what is happening is that while I am riding for the ride – it has become a time in which my emotions reveal what is going on as I heal from the wounds which were so recently imposed. Granted – not everyone will give such a detailed tour of this essence of the journey but since it is part and parcel of this ride – you all get a glimpse into the inner workings of this particular biker.